The Artificial Gamer

Th modern gamer plays without playing

Let’s not mince words here. The online RPG discourse is a hellscape of awful, illiterate opinions. Every week a new “discourse” rears its head stemming from someone not having read the rules, not understanding how the rules function in gameplay, or how the rules interact with each other. It’s a toxic cycle fueled entirely by ignorance. Where does this ignorance come from though and why is it the default for the modern gaming discourse? That’s what we’ll be talking about today. The modern gamer is a product of a world where most experiences are artificial. Sincerity is scary and often uncomfortable and the modern gamer is definitely a creature of comfort. Let’s discuss the circumstances which birthed this modern gamer, the variations found i the modern gamer and how the gamer of today differs from the gamer of the past. If our hobby is to survive, we need to understand that this is not what we need gamers to be.

The modern world fundamentally rejects reality. Everything we see is curated, algorithmically generated, focus-tested and manufactured. Consent has been manufactured to a degree that Noam Chomsky could never imagine. People are no longer encouraged to use their own five senses to interpret the sensations around them because those interpretations are unfiltered. They could contain harmful information that doesn’t fit orthodoxy. Besides, it’s more comfortable and more convenient to have these experiences delivered to you. Should we go camping and enjoy roughing it in the outdoors? No, let’s go “glamping” and bring along as many modern amenities as we can. Should we go out with friends? No, that’s a lot of inconvenience to go through. Why don’t we all just have a Mexican standoff over who can cancel first and then all breathe a sigh of relief that we didn’t actually have to gasp socialize for a couple hours. Everything must be experienced on your terms and under your control or you might as well not do it at all. It has to be facilitated and monitored for maximum safety. After all, straying from the safety zone is risky and any risk or pain is inherently bad…right? That’s what all of this boils down to; harm reduction and risk aversion. Mitigate all potential problems. Sand off all rough edges. Make everything as soft and palatable to everyone as possible.

This philosophy of risk aversion touches all things, especially gaming. After all, gaming is part of geek culture and geek culture has been thoroughly anti-masculine since the 80’s. That is a topic deserving of its own article, but suffice it to say that gaming is filled with soft, childlike people who surround themselves with children’s toys, gorge themselves on diets that used to be jokes in Saturday morning cartoons, and wall themselves off from the realities of adulthood. This is usually done in two ways; the ultra-nostalgic and the ultra-modern. The ultra-nostalgic gamer has fond memories of the old days, but has lost all perspective on the game itself. These gamers have not read the rules in decades, but will happily argue with you on Twitter about how “Nobody actually played that way!” These poor delusional souls have convinced themselves of their own expertise and will not read the rules because they supposedly mastered them long ago. Little do they know that they long ago internalized a bastardized version of the game that they assumed was correct but actually isn’t. They can never admit this though because their identity depends on being the old, grizzled veteran. That’s where the term “Grognard” comes from. The term literally means “grumpy old soldier.” These grumps are tolerated because of their knowledge though so if they don’t actually have any knowledge of value to offer, then they’re just whiny irritable SOBs with no value to offer anyone.

The ultra-modern gamer is another kind of beast entirely. For these people, the past has nothing of value to offer. These are the people who call Orcs racist and demand that magical wheelchairs be added to the game so that disabled gamers may feel “represented.” Almost all traditional aspects of the game are problematic and therefore unacceptable. When these people do game, their games are usually about a colorful assortment of sexual deviants running a coffee shop or trying to bed everything with a pulse. These people treat roleplaying games like sexual roleplay complete with safety tools. Gaming to them has to be a safe place to express their ids and celebrate their depravity as virtue. By extension, anything that challenges them or threatens their expression is not just bad but dangerous or even life-threatening. This does not stop at their tables though, because their ideology must extend to every table. Much like the ultra-nostalgic gamer, the ultra-modern gamer will happily hound you online like a prediabetic Spanish Inquisition. They’ll even enact their own forms of public torture and execution for the nonconformists. Unlike the Grognards, these people hold no delusions of game mastery. They simply see another land to conquer because all must bend the knee to their view.

What makes these gamers artificial? Well, the fact of the matter is that they don’t actually play the game. Their demands are far too extreme. The ultra-nostalgic gamer is chasing the game of his childhood without realizing that he has outgrown that game. He is still pursuing a childish iteration of the game but wonders why he isn’t getting the same high he used to. The ultra-modernist has legislated all interesting aspects out of the game and, as a consequence, is left playing Barbie Dress-Up (all credit to Wonkee) with their brood of dysgenic perverts. Both approaches have stripped away the reality of the game and they both largely interface with the game in artificial ways now. When they play, it’s usually online and not for very long. Mostly though, they engage with gaming by arguing about it on Twitter, on Reddit, and in Facebook groups. It’s a gaming-related activity, but it isn’t gaming. It’s an artificial stimulus that they use to scratch the gaming itch, but it only leaves them empty. It’s very similar to the scene in the movie Demolition Man where John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) is invited back to the apartment of his police handler Lenina Huxley (Sandra Bullock) for an evening of love-making only to discover that the future society of San Angeles has completely removed all physical contact from the act. When Spartan asks if they can do it “the old fashioned way,” Huxley’s revulsion tells us much about the society of the film and also our society. In the name of pain-reduction, we have eliminated meaningful ways of connecting with other humans. We have deracinated ourselves and now we are shriveling and dying.

What is to be done about this in gaming though? Well, I propose a simple but harsh solution. If you don’t read the rules and don’t play the game, you don’t get to speak about either. Before anyone interjects stating that I don’t have the authority to confiscate the dice and phones of every person I deem unworthy, I know that. What I mean is that we who do play should not entertain the notion of listening to these people for even a second. They do not matter. Their opinions are less than nothing because they’re derived from total ignorance. Do not even engage with these people. Just ignore them and continue discussing the game with other people who actually bother to read and play the game. I have visited Orlando, Florida several times in my life, but that does not give me the right to vote in their local elections unless I become a resident. That’s what these people are. They’re tourists at best and invaders at worst. They don’t get a say in how things are run unless they want to participate in the game the way the rest of us do. RPGs are for roleplayers. Unless you’re actively reading rules, running games and improving upon your understanding of these things, your opinion is worthless. You’re an artificial gamer.